


Birthday

by Elsinore_and_Inverness



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Genre: Birthday, M/M, Mostly Dialogue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:13:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27879654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elsinore_and_Inverness/pseuds/Elsinore_and_Inverness
Summary: Well, are you going to tell Vimes when Vetinari's birthday is?(Don't worry, this one is not written in second person)
Relationships: Havelock Vetinari/Samuel Vimes, Sybil Ramkin/Havelock Vetinari/Samuel Vimes
Comments: 3
Kudos: 26





	Birthday

Sybil had been friends with Vetinari since childhood so she was the first person Vimes thought to ask.

She frowned thoughtfully. “Do you know, I don’t think it ever came up. That’s a bit odd isn’t it?”

“Not any odder than anything else. I don’t think Lady Margolotta in Überwald even knew how old he was.”

Sybil pressed her lips together. “He said he didn’t lie to her.”

“Not lying and telling the truth are two different things.”

“He’s a few months older than I am, I know that much.”

“In a mid-century Backspindlewinter the Pitcher (or Bucket) would be a December sign.”

“How do you know his zodiac?”

“Mrs Palm mentioned it. But I think she may have been joking. It was a long time ago. One of the first times I was invited to a Guild meeting at the Palace.”

Sybil was almost smirking. “And you remembered it from all those years ago?”

“Mishearing the word ‘Bucket’ and asking for clarification tends to stick in one’s memory, yes.”

“I don’t think Rosemary knows the exact date either.”

“Would Drumknott?”

“You could ask.”

-

Figuring out how to talk to Rufus Drumknott without Vetinari overhearing was no easy task. It was technically an impossible task as, officially, all information acquired by his secretary was passed along to the Patrician. But the world did not run on official technicalities. Catching Drumknott alone in the Palace was just about possible, but you did make yourself suspicious hanging around on the ground floor for half an hour.

The clerk looked slightly startled at the question and then, equally slightly, upset. “He knows mine, but he says he doesn’t want anyone to make a fuss.”

Vimes noted that this did not necessarily mean that Rufus did not know, but it did mean that he was not telling.

Vimes hated the thought of the next prospect that occurred to him, it felt like it was crossing a line.

-

Lord Downey peered over the top of his glasses. “I’m afraid I’ve forgotten.”

“Forgotten?”

“Oh yes.”

“Surely the Guild keeps records.”

“Do you really think he would leave records in my hands detailing things like suspension for stealing a table and childhood health issues?” 

“Stealing a table?” Vimes was sure even magical hypnosis and surgery involving turnips would have a difficult time getting Lord Downey to forget anything in the records Vetinari had allegedly removed for safe keeping. 

“One of the dining hall tables,” Downey said, airily.

-

Lady Sybil wrote to Lady Meserole in Pseudopolis with relative frequency. She mentioned that Vimes was wondering when her nephew’s birthday was. The reply gave no answer to this inquiry.

-

Lord Vetinari turned away from the window, fixing Vimes with a gaze so direct that all his usual methods of looking elsewhere fell away.

It was in a quiet voice that he spoke, daring to ask without asking. “Today is my birthday.”

“I didn’t bring anything. Do you want a kiss?”

“Yes.” Vetinari took two steps so he was backed up against the wall.

“Oh.”

“Indeed.”

Vimes was used to kissing someone half a foot taller than him, but Vetinari had not become any less awkward since the first time. It was rather sweet, how focused he seemed to be on getting it right.

“Happy birthday. I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too.”


End file.
